It’s been more than a year since I updated this blog, the one I planned to use to get myself back into the habit of writing. Well, as most lofty and ambitious goals go, this one too fizzled out for a while.
However, all is not lost. I am on a new mission. Get my shit together so I can buy a home! In the greater Boston area.
This is stressful for me for a number of reasons, which I plan to outline over the next few posts:
#1 Reason why buying a home is stressful – Money
My family did not have a lot of money when I was growing up, and houses are expensive so it’s not surprising that going into debt is one of my biggest fears.
We weren’t necessarily poor, but I watched my parents struggle with money. My father was a farmer and later took on a part-time job, which he still has, and my mother worked two jobs. Neither made very much, and they weren’t particularly good at managing what little they had.
My parents couldn’t sign me up for many activities–who had the time to take me to lessons–and I wasn’t able to buy clothes that would allow me to fit in with the popular crowd (not that I would have anyway), but I didn’t really think of us as poor. There was always food on the table, but large expenses would send my parents into a panic.
A few things woke me up to the reality that my parents were barely getting by: the day my 8th grade teacher suggested to my mom that she should get my vision examined because I couldn’t see the chalkboard (what a difference glasses made on my view of the world); the time my father dropped my mother’s and my insurance plans so he could buy a cell phone, only to be forced to pay out of pocket for my broken arm when I fell off my bike a few weeks later; and my first visit to the dentist (when I was almost 30 so I can’t blame my parents for the last 12 years) that resulted in several expensive followups to take care of multiple cavities, a root canal, and the removal of a wisdom tooth; and the day I realized that if I wanted to go to college I was going to have to pay for everything myself.
So here I am, itching to buy a home in a sellers’ market in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., yet I am terrified of doing anything that might send me spiraling into debt. I still maintain those habits, good and bad, that come from growing up without money. I am thrifty and smart about budgeting and saving, but I also forego the big expenses that are important being healthy, like regular visits to a doctor and dentist, because I’m afraid of the added costs. Luckily I’m only 33 and am in good health, but I know this is not a smart path to be on and I need to change.
It was an infected cut to my finger in 2013 that forced me to finally sign up for a primary care physician and see a doctor for the first time in a decade. I’ve had health insurance since 2004 and I truly have no excuse for why it’s taken me so long to get one. Last year, my company signed up for a new promotion through our health insurance provider that encourages employees to get a yearly physical to earn a $300 gift card, which is the only reason I went back again for this year’s physical. My recent visit to the eye doctor was due to the fact that I couldn’t order new contacts online without a new prescription, and I have been sitting on list of dentists for over a year because the guy I went to a year ago for a deep cleaning (who also told me I have a new cavity and suggested I remove the rest of my wisdom teeth) cost me a bunch of money when I later learned that his office wasn’t in my network.
Before this sinks into a huge self-pity party as I list all the ways in which I am pathetic and self-defeating, I will also say that despite my poor choices when it comes to my health, I am doing okay. Buying a home is something my husband and I want. We both have great credit, jobs that pay enough to cover the bills, with money set aside for a down payment and an occasional vacation, I am one college loan payment away from being debt free, and I am finally on the road to recovery.
I’ve made an appointment to see a therapist (another thing I have gone without my entire life, treatment for my depression and anxiety) to deal with the mental health issues that have prevented me from venturing into this next stage of adulthood, being responsible for my own well-being and letting go of the fears that are holding me back.
There are plenty of things for first time home buyers to worry about, and money certainly is one. However, my fear that buying a home will immediately drown us in unmanageable debt is unfounded.
Bought the Ticket and Taking the Ride 